Category: Mental

Expect respect

The root of good manners is respect for another person; and the root of respect is sensitivity. Sensitivity is one of the most valuable qualities you can instill in your child — and it begins at infancy. A sensitive infant will naturally become a respectful child, because he cares for another’s feelings, and will naturally become a well-mannered person.

Their politeness will be more creative and more heartfelt than anything they can learn from a book of etiquette. Now days, especially in big urban areas, it is socially correct to teach children to be “assertive.” Keep in mind, however, being assertive is healthy if it doesn’t override politeness and good manners.

Teach polite words early

Did you know that even two-year-olds can learn to say “please” and “thank you”? Despite not being able to understand the social graciousness of these words, your toddler will realize that “please” is how you get what you want and “thank you” is how you end an interaction. When you plant these social niceties into your child’s vocabulary they will later use them with the understanding that they make others feel good about helping you.

Make it a habit to open with a “please” when you ask your toddler to give you something and to close with a “thank you”. Even before the child grasps the meaning of these words they learns they are important because mommy and daddy use them a lot and they have such nice expressions on their faces when they say these words. Your children will mimic these terms and understand their usefulness long before they understand their meaning.

Acknowledge your child

Try and include your child in adult goings-on, especially if there are no other children present. If you and your kid are in a crowd of mostly adults, tuning out your child is asking for trouble. Even a child who is usually well-behaved will make a nuisance of herself to get your attention. When you include your child, it teaches them social skills, and acknowledging their presence shows them that he they have value.

Stay connected with your child in situations that put them at risk for undesirable behavior. For example during a visit with other adults, make sure that you keep your younger child physically close to you and maintain frequent verbal and eye contact. You should also make an effort to ensure that your older child feels part of the action so that he is less likely to get bored and wander into trouble.

Don’t force manners.

Don’t make this common mistake. While it’s okay to occasionally dangle a “say please” over a child before you grant their request don’t rigidly adhere to asking for the “magic word” before you give your child what he wants.

This is a pretty sure way of tiring the child of these polite words even before he understands them. Make sure that when you remind a child to say “please,” do so as part of good speech, not as a requirement for getting what he wants. Your child should also hear a lot of good speech from you.

Correct politely

When your child makes a mistake, don’t rant and rave like many overreacting parents do. Instead, keep your voice modulated, look the child straight in the eye, and put your hand on his shoulder during your sermon.

These gestures reflect that you are correcting the child because you care. Your politeness will show your child that you value them and want them to learn from her mistakes so she becomes a better person.

Every parent dreams of the polite little child who says “please” and “thank you.” A reason why you should focus on your children’s manners is because it also reflects on you. Understanding the basis of good manners will help your kids become good citizens. Good manners, after all, are necessary for people to live together in this world. Gracious manners reflect a loving and considerate personality.

Social problems

Being a single mom means that you’re basically trapped underneath a mountain of responsibility that’ll not let you have the time to keep in touch with your friends let alone finding romance. Many working single moms also talk about the guilt of having a night out while leaving their kids at home.

This is an extremely important issue; you will need all kinds of encouragement from people who love. Search for places that will help you get some social time while keeping kids entertained, maybe a gym with a kids’ area or you could even go on a play date with other single parents. You can also get family members to take care of your child once a month so that you can let your hair down. Parenting, especially when you’re single, is immensely taxing, that is why you need some time for yourself.

Fatigue

Let’s face it; the bottom line is that you’re doing alone what was supposed to be a two-man job. Raising a child by yourself leaves you physically, emotionally and spiritually drained. But because you are the only one your kids can depend on, you’ve got to stop pushing yourself to your limits every day. You must take care of yourself so that you can take care of them.

There are many ways to take a breather. Search for other single parents near where you live and get in touch with them. You can take care of their kids when they want to go out and they can do the same for you. Take the time off to exercise, go out with your friends or even sleep. You need to understand that taking care of yourself is not being selfish.

Guilt

From feeling culpable about not being able to provide things financially to blaming yourself for spending a day away from your child, there seems to be no end to the guilt a single mother feels. You might also feel guilty about the way things have turned out and then there’s the guilt about not getting to (maybe) follow your dreams because of your situation.

There are many reasons someone can be a single mother; for instance, a mistake is a reason for your single status, learn from it and move on. If your situation is the result of the mistakes of others (maybe an arranged marriage), learn to forgive and move on. If you hold on to the anger and guilt, you’ll never fully appreciate how wonderful motherhood is.

Regardless of how you became a single mother, your worry will prove to be very detrimental to your kids. Focus your energy on making a better future for yourself and your kids.

Financial strain

Events leading to single motherhood, whether it’s divorce, death etc. can have a massive impact on your financial status. It wrecks your financial balance and leaves just one person handling the burden that should have been tackled by two people.

No matter what leads you to this point in your life, you have to let go of the past and move ahead for your kid’s sake. You’ll have to get organized and start handling your money astutely. Consult with a financial planner to help make every rupee you have to go as far as possible. Always keep in mind that despite your financial strains, what your kids need most is your love, which you have in abundance. Lavish them with love and don’t beat yourself up for not being able to give them material things that they want.

Decision-making

From deciding the best school to sending their children to getting the perfect insurance plans parents to have to keep making some tough calls. While the married parents do share the decision-making, mothers usually bare the weight of most of these tough decisions.

Talk to your parents or your friends who have kids to help you take these decisions. Getting help from trusted people can help you lessen your anxiety and strengthen you to take the difficult decisions that you’ll need to make.

We hope that these tips will come in handy while you’re navigating the difficult waters of motherhood. For more tips, including delicious recipes for your pregnancy diet and how to properly use a pregnancy kit check out the rest of the site.

1. Don’t label your kid verbally or don’t mentally brand your child as a liar. An occasional lie doesn’t make him/her a liar.
2. Be honest. If you’re not sure whether your child is lying or not, tell him/her. Do not accuse without proof.
3. Don’t ask questions that are setting your child your child up to lie.
4. Do recognize that a child who’s lying frequently might be struggling with low self-esteem. Lying can be a symptom, not a problem.
5. Don’t jump to conclusions. Your child’s perspective might be very different from yours, but it doesn’t mean that he/she is lying.

6. Do implement consequences of lying. You might be an understanding parent, but you also need to be firm, and learn to punish appropriately.
7. Do realize that transitioning from lying is time taking. Do not get frustrated and angry. You need to encourage your child.
8. Don’t use threats to stop the lying or make rules that will punish future lying. You might be saying, “If you lie once more, I’ll…” your child will be hearing, “I don’t trust you. I expect you to lie again.”
9. Do realize that lying can be a cry for help. He/she might be trying to communicate something. It’s your job to figure it out.
10. Don’t promise rewards for the truth. It can confuse children. You need to hold them accountable for their lying.

Parents need to know that lying is not a moral issue; it’s a problem–solving issue and/or an avoiding consequence issue. You might not realize it, but most of the time the kids know the difference between right and wrong – that is why they’re lying.

Remember, do not overreact, if you catch your child lying, punish him/her for the behavior, not for the lie. This can help you form a healthy and trusting bond with your child. Your child is trying to solve a problem in an ineffective way and it’s your job to coach them on how to face the problem and you’ll see that in time they’ll learn how to do it without lying.